Its been a turbulent week.
Life sometimes throws nasty things at you that you can either let smash you straight in the face and totally knock you out or you can catch and run with it or you skillfully duck and let the bastard pass you by until it hits the next poor bugger.
I can guarantee ya one thing thou, that shits definately heading for someone else!!
Like I said, my week has been awful and got progressively worse by some one who I thought was a real friend. My Knight in shining armour… LOL how wrong was I…
This person used their armour to crush every positive belief system I have.
I couldnt breathe.
I felt helpless.
I hid myself away and cried way too much.
As my previous blog post said. …
‘I didnt see it coming’.
My recently started health regime soon spiralled outta control and for the last 4 days I have been eating and drinking my way through a rollercoaster of real bad emotions :-(.
I woke this morning and took a long hard look at myself in the mirror and I didnt like what I saw. My skin was spotty, blemished, my hair dull and brittle. I looked like fuck!!!
I sat back on the bed and reached for my Angel cards. Today I was dealt ‘Coventina’ a powerful Celtic goddess of the water. ‘Purification – it is time for a cleansing detoxification of your body and mind.’
So what does this mean to me? I opened the guidebook on the selected page.
~ “Your vessels have become clogged by harsh chemicals, and the offending source is in your pysche.
You’ve been ignoring your bodies many signals and screams for relief of the steady ingestion of impurities.
Perhaps you’ve noticed a slump in your energy levels, and your degree of joy has lagged as well.
Make new arrangements. Keep a sharp focus on the contents of your mind. Choose purity and look forward to changes for the better.
– Time to make some lifestyle changes
– Stop abusing alchohol or drugs
– Avoid processed foods such as sugar, white flour etc
– Eat more organic foods
– Keep your thought and speech positive
– Go on a fast or a detox diet
– Adopt a vegetarian or vegan diet.” ~
I sat on the bed to take on board what I just read. I took a good breathe in and breathed out all the negativity. Then hit the shower, washed and conditioned my hair and exfoliated. I scrubbed, rubbed, washed away all the negativity.
I know this sounds crazy but it was symbolic for me. My music played as I styled my hair, moisturised my skin and decided this is definately a new day.
I have alot to look forward to, I need to stay focussed, keep my thoughts positive and live my life for me.
My world came crushing down today.
Each word tore into me like pieces of broken glass text after text…
I can barely breathe…
The pain wont stop…
I wasnt expecting this….
He said HE had to choose.
But I was never part of the discussions..
I thought everything was ok…
How stupid was I…
I wasnt expecting this…
Wake me up when the shards stop falling…