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In a bad place…


It’s been a while since I have blogged myself, but have been trying my best to keep up with what others have written.
Not been feeling it really…
Not for a long while….

Not been feeling myself at all. Work. Family life. Personal issues and the ongoing matrimonial breakdown continues.

Since the new year, this wonderful year, I have felt nothing but restraint and control.

So..

I’m just gona ramble now.. cause that’s what I do best.

Old habits die hard..

Withdraw.

Seek comfort in food – and not the healthy kind…

Once it starts.. I struggle to stop it.

I have in a month put on 7lb in weight, I have stopped tracking on myfitnesspal, my vitamintrain is Fucked, I am all spotty and the condition of my hair is piss poor.

Every week I plan, but never stick to it.

I lasted half a day on the 5 Day Pouch Test!!

I’m in a bad place…

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Obstacles…


Its been a crazy few weeks for me. I really have no idea whether I am coming or going. Everything just seems to be a complete mess, my nerves are on edge, I am close to tears one moment, angry the next, and barely able to crack a smile.

I get these moments from time to time. My GP told me the other week that I am in control of all these feelings and I need to work harder at visualising and experiencing  positive feelings. He suggested that I  surround my self with positive family and friends.

When I feel like this I just want to be alone.

Obstacles

Their out there, in various forms. The triggers have been plentiful and ‘snap’ I take the bait every time.

I have scoffed my way through every cupboard and biscuit tin at home and at work, indulged in far too many glasses of vino and brandy to get me through the difficult times. Puddings, dont get me started on puddings – but Sticky Toffee pudding with cream in a 5 star restaurant was way too good to miss – ‘dumped’.

Totally fallen off the wagon, and promised myself to cut down the carbs this week. Going to London the weekend to meet some friends for a night out which will involve an all nighter pub crawl, possibly a nightclub.

I am not looking forward to it, but feel I should be ok once I get on my way. I need this weekend. I need a break and the chance to bond with the girls. Miss them.

So.. will have this time away, and catch up with my friends, no doubt have a few heart to hearts and shed a few tears over a few jars. Hoping to head back next week with a bit of my mojo back to tackle these obstacles.

 

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