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Coventina – Purification


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I have no voice… Wasnt asked my opinion.. So I write.

Mitzi x

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Coventina – Purification


Its been a turbulent week.
Life sometimes throws nasty things at you that you can either let smash you straight in the face and totally knock you out or you can catch and run with it or you skillfully duck and let the bastard pass you by until it hits the next poor bugger.
I can guarantee ya one thing thou, that shits definately heading for someone else!!

Like I said, my week has been awful and got progressively worse by some one who I thought was a real friend. My Knight in shining armour… LOL how wrong was I…
This person used their armour to crush every positive belief system I have.
I couldnt breathe.
I felt helpless.
I hid myself away and cried way too much.
As my previous blog post said. …
‘I didnt see it coming’.

My recently started health regime soon spiralled outta control and for the last 4 days I have been eating and drinking my way through a rollercoaster of real bad emotions :-(.

I woke this morning and took a long hard look at myself in the mirror and I didnt like what I saw. My skin was spotty, blemished, my hair dull and brittle. I looked like fuck!!!

I sat back on the bed and reached for my Angel cards. Today I was dealt ‘Coventina’ a powerful Celtic goddess of the water. ‘Purification – it is time for a cleansing detoxification of your body and mind.’
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So what does this mean to me? I opened the guidebook on the selected page.

~ “Your vessels have become clogged by harsh chemicals, and the offending source is in your pysche.
You’ve been ignoring your bodies many signals and screams for relief of the steady ingestion of impurities.
Perhaps you’ve noticed a slump in your energy levels, and your degree of joy has lagged as well.
Make new arrangements. Keep a sharp focus on the contents of your mind. Choose purity and look forward to changes for the better.

Recommendation:
– Time to make some lifestyle changes
– Stop abusing alchohol or drugs
– Avoid processed foods such as sugar, white flour etc
– Eat more organic foods
– Keep your thought and speech positive
– Go on a fast or a detox diet
– Adopt a vegetarian or vegan diet.” ~

I sat on the bed to take on board what I just read. I took a good breathe in and breathed out all the negativity. Then hit the shower, washed and conditioned my hair and exfoliated. I scrubbed, rubbed, washed away all the negativity.
I know this sounds crazy but it was symbolic for me. My music played as I styled my hair, moisturised my skin and decided this is definately a new day.
I have alot to look forward to, I need to stay focussed, keep my thoughts positive and live my life for me.

Mitzi x

rouxenymitzi44

My world came crushing down today.

Each word tore into me like pieces of broken glass text after text…

I can barely breathe…

The pain wont stop…

I wasnt expecting this….

He said HE had to choose.

But I was never part of the discussions..

I thought everything was ok…

How stupid was I…

I wasnt expecting this…

Wake me up when the shards stop falling…

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My world came crashing down today


My world came crushing down today.

Each word tore into me like pieces of broken glass text after text…

I can barely breathe…

The pain wont stop…

I wasnt expecting this….

He said HE had to choose.

But I was never part of the discussions..

I thought everything was ok…

How stupid was I…

I wasnt expecting this…

Wake me up when the shards stop falling…

 

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Female version of the Lords Prayer


Do not read of easily offended.

Posted without prejudice.

FEMALE VERSION OF THE LORDS PRAYER: …………………..

My Vibrator

Which Brings Me Heaven

Rabbit Be Thy Name

You Make Me Cum

You Bring Such Fun

On Earth

Or Is It Heaven?

Give Me This Day My Daily Thrill

And Forgive Me My Screams As I Forgive Those Who Sold Me Dud Batteries!

Lead Me Straight Into Temptation

Deliver Me From Frustration!

For Thine Is The Vibration

The Power And Rotation!

For Ever And Ever

NO MEN

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Posted by on 11/04/2012 in Just cause, Sex

 

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Happy in My Own Skin?????


If a group of us sat and took time to look at this picture, and I mean really looked at this picture, we would all see different things…

So go on…

Give it a try right now…

Tell me what you see?

I am sure if you look long enough some of you may think it tells a story, some may find it triggers a distant memory .. and for some of you its just a picture right? What ever you see, its personal to you, its your vision, how you see it, no one elses.

So, each day following weight loss surgery is much of a muchness. I see the same people Monday-Friday more or less which does not present a problem. However, I find I am more nervous of meeting the ones I dont see that often. All sorts go through my head before, during and after we meet. What are they going to think? What are they going to say? What are they thinking now? Do they think I’ve changed?

This week I met up with a friend I have not seen for about 6 months. It was lovely to catch up but also a little nerve racking – FriendsWithBenefits* and boy did I need those benefits.

We had a lovely evening, went for a walk, enjoyed a meal and live music and headed back to the hotel quite late. Gulp! Thats when panic set in. I wanted to have a bath and go to bed and in order for me to do that I actually needed to get undressed…

I even made the point of buying myself a pair of new full length PJ’s to wear complete with hoodie. I did not want him to see me. The lbs are melting away but where the blubber has gone the skin remains, just hanging, you know, chilling out around my belly, arms, inner thighs, buttocks, chin – just waiting for my Lottery Numbers to come up and for me to go running off to the nearest ‘fully trained, reputable, registered and ever so competent, experienced plastic surgeon’.                    I wont even go there with the tits… I can now fold them like a Tortilla wrap and stuff them into my bra!!!

In Setember 2010 I fit the skin I was in, actually, let me rephrase that – I outsretched it just a little bit LOL ..

But now….

Anyway, things were going well, I had a lovely soak in the bath, got myself all cosey in bed trying to look all sultry and seductive drinking a cuppa tea.

Things started to warm up when he said those words  ‘get on top’

I could of died…

I refused!

Bless him, he didnt insist, he never would and I never raised it with him afterwards. We normally talk about everything… but I just pushed this under the carpet.

Because my weight loss surgery was ‘open’ my scar starts from my breast bone and ends at my belly button. Over the last 16 months it has become more and more keloid in its appearance. My abdomen has more stretch mark  tram lines than a map of not just England, but the entire UK!

As I type, all the emotions come back. The brick walls I seem to be continually putting up are getting higher and higher. When I was heavier I was aware I was too big, and hated who was looking back at me in the mirror. Here I am at 16 months post op and I think I may actually be worse now than I was before… I know this is work in progress, and I am not saying I am not happy about the weight I have lost. Just wished that when I stand infront of the mirror in all my glory, I felt happier about what I saw; and maybe then, I wouldnt worry about what others see.

Happy in my own skin???

Think you know the answer to that one 🙂

Mitzi x

 

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~ Cunnilingus ~


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I won’t say to much on this one…. Don’t think it needs much explanation really…
Suppose some of you might be asking yourself ‘why??’

Answer – because I  want to!!

This comes under my category ‘and other stuff’ and comes with a WARNING.

‘Switch off if easily offended!’

You have been warned..

Here it goes….

just wanted to share the fact that I really really love oral sex!! ‘

Mitzi x

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Posted by on 28/12/2011 in Sex

 

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