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Monthly Archives: March 2012

Maverick Sabre – Lonely Are The Brave


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Tuesday 6th March – It’s been a long wait but the night had finally arrived. Fluffs was up visiting and off we went to see:
– Maverick Sabre
– Ms Dynamite
– Aruba Red

We were not disappointed!

The HMV Institute is a small venue that acoustically matches its size to give you a sound that is pleasing to the ear. It was a SOLD OUT tour but we comfortably got our drinks from the bar and found a suitable place in the crowd to enjoy the gig.

Aruba’s voice had you in a trance and she drew everybody in with her stage presence, then Ms Dynamite really got the party started the house was ROCKING!!

I listen to the album ‘Lonely Are The Brave’ in my car alot and love it. But I’ve always said this, you can’t beat a live performance.
Maverick came out on stage humble but sure of what he was there to do. I felt like we were being welcomed into his home so he could share his music with us.

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Track after track I just stood in awe, and sung along with the crowd. We waved from left to right and shone our lights on the air as Maverick sang and drank a cup of tea in between songs LOL ‘classic’

The song of the night for me was ‘Cold Game’, I have always loved it, its a beautiful song with its expressive lyrics it means a lot to me. But they were all there, ‘Let Me Go’, ‘Memories’, lastest single ‘No one’, ‘Running Away’, ‘I Need’, Maverick spoiled us all as the band cleared the stage and he picked up his acoustic guitar and sung the bonus trax off the album ‘Dont Ever Feel too much’ and more.

If you dont know who I am talking about – please go and check him out!

Maverick Sabre is a gem, his English/Irish vocals are unique and deeply powerful  – http://www.mavericksabre.com/

Happy St Patricks Day everybody

Mitzi x x

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Posted by on 15/03/2012 in My Music

 

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The initial consultation – Divorce


So nervous I arrived 15 minutes early. My solicitor had not come into the office yet for the day so I was showed to a small empty office to wait. I felt physically sick with anxiety.
I waited for what felt like a decade until 10.30 arrived.

She was younger than I remembered, but remained pleasant, very clear and direct. She discussed my case with me, we talked about how things have been over the last year, discussed my options and suggested plan then she printed some paperwork for me to read in the meantime.

She advised that I wait for her letters to summarize our discussions. But basically the wheels are in motion to get my divorce.

‘Unreasonable behaviour’

I kinda felt strange when I left. I felt like I had betrayed him… When you marry you marry for life. But when the man you were so inlove with for years and years suddenly becomes the man you cant bare to be in the same room with. Some things gotta give. 
I have left it long enough as it is!

Mitzi x

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Happy in My Own Skin?????


If a group of us sat and took time to look at this picture, and I mean really looked at this picture, we would all see different things…

So go on…

Give it a try right now…

Tell me what you see?

I am sure if you look long enough some of you may think it tells a story, some may find it triggers a distant memory .. and for some of you its just a picture right? What ever you see, its personal to you, its your vision, how you see it, no one elses.

So, each day following weight loss surgery is much of a muchness. I see the same people Monday-Friday more or less which does not present a problem. However, I find I am more nervous of meeting the ones I dont see that often. All sorts go through my head before, during and after we meet. What are they going to think? What are they going to say? What are they thinking now? Do they think I’ve changed?

This week I met up with a friend I have not seen for about 6 months. It was lovely to catch up but also a little nerve racking – FriendsWithBenefits* and boy did I need those benefits.

We had a lovely evening, went for a walk, enjoyed a meal and live music and headed back to the hotel quite late. Gulp! Thats when panic set in. I wanted to have a bath and go to bed and in order for me to do that I actually needed to get undressed…

I even made the point of buying myself a pair of new full length PJ’s to wear complete with hoodie. I did not want him to see me. The lbs are melting away but where the blubber has gone the skin remains, just hanging, you know, chilling out around my belly, arms, inner thighs, buttocks, chin – just waiting for my Lottery Numbers to come up and for me to go running off to the nearest ‘fully trained, reputable, registered and ever so competent, experienced plastic surgeon’.                    I wont even go there with the tits… I can now fold them like a Tortilla wrap and stuff them into my bra!!!

In Setember 2010 I fit the skin I was in, actually, let me rephrase that – I outsretched it just a little bit LOL ..

But now….

Anyway, things were going well, I had a lovely soak in the bath, got myself all cosey in bed trying to look all sultry and seductive drinking a cuppa tea.

Things started to warm up when he said those words  ‘get on top’

I could of died…

I refused!

Bless him, he didnt insist, he never would and I never raised it with him afterwards. We normally talk about everything… but I just pushed this under the carpet.

Because my weight loss surgery was ‘open’ my scar starts from my breast bone and ends at my belly button. Over the last 16 months it has become more and more keloid in its appearance. My abdomen has more stretch mark  tram lines than a map of not just England, but the entire UK!

As I type, all the emotions come back. The brick walls I seem to be continually putting up are getting higher and higher. When I was heavier I was aware I was too big, and hated who was looking back at me in the mirror. Here I am at 16 months post op and I think I may actually be worse now than I was before… I know this is work in progress, and I am not saying I am not happy about the weight I have lost. Just wished that when I stand infront of the mirror in all my glory, I felt happier about what I saw; and maybe then, I wouldnt worry about what others see.

Happy in my own skin???

Think you know the answer to that one 🙂

Mitzi x

 

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