Monthly Archives: January 2012

Reflecting On The Birth of My Son

Written 7th May 2011

Just me and my nutty son at home today, his sisters off at Alton Towers for the day with the school, 400 pupils – Teachers Nightmare I suspect. Just got in from getting his birthday cake as its his birthday tomorrow. Presents all wrapped and in hiding I have been remembering this weekend 8 years ago being fingered, prodded and poked all for the sake of getting the expected 11lb-der out.

My planned water birth was thrown out the window as the consultant warned me of the pending complication of shoulder dystocia. The Prostin Gels didnt work even after the extra dose, not a twinge was felt. He wasnt ready to come out thank you very much!!

That was until the oncall consultant appeared with the threat of casearian section if nothing happened in the next 4 hours, and said he wanted to examine me. I took one look at his hands and declined. My midwife did the honours, and struggled to break my waters, I was barely 1 cm dilated. She started the Syntocinon infusion and within no time at all the contractions started, and never let up. My friend Entonox stayed with me all the time from that very moment, how I loved you my woozey headed friend. But this wasnt right, I wasnt getting a break, the bastards just kept coming and coming. Hubbi went off for a fag and a cuppa, the Midwife went off to do her notes and suddenly I had the urge to push, and was pushing and had no control over it, but with my legs crossed due to the fear of the pending 11lb-der.. I couldnt reach the buzzer due to the insulin infusion in one hand and fluids in the other and monitor strapping me to the bed to monitor my baby elephant.

Ok, I am panicking now.. I am having this baby on my own when suddenly the door opens and my Midwife walks back in – ‘Mitzi, are you pushing???’

I couldnt get my words out, just nodded my head.

She asked if she could have a look, but I could not uncross my legs, all I remember was her shouting ‘OPEN YOUR LEGS MITZI I THINK YOUR BABIES COMING’ as she rushed to get a glove on, the emergency buzzer goes off, there’s other Midwives in as back up, delivery packs are flying open, my legs opened and with one gloved hand she supported his head, then body as he shot out she caught him just as his dad walked back into the room!!

From crotch to chest, there he was in skin-to-skin, I took one look and fell in love, nobody can prepare you for that moment when you first hold them in your arms. Resting on my breasts looking at me, eyes wide open with a wtf look on his face, not dissimilar to the look I get when I say get up its time to get ready for school haha. He cried for like a second, and just looked at me like hey I know you :-).

The hardest 3 hours work av ever done, I escaped the caesarian section but split my difference good and proper instead, never been the same since in that department, but ya cant have it all can ya – I am blessed with a lovingly adorable son who was not the 11lb-der they expected but 8lb 14, I could of spent 3 more weeks at home with my feet up waiting for him to come when HE was ready lol.

It was lovely t see the same Midwives that I had met 5 years before when I had my daughter, and I am to this day greatful for their help and support.


The gift of life is a truely magical thing, the luck of being blessed with babies when many women struggle to concieve I never take for granted. There are moments when betwen the two of them they make me want to run for the hills when they have more attitude than I do, but…  I would be lost without them


Posted by on 21/01/2012 in Uncategorized



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Posted by on 06/01/2012 in My Music



~2012 A New Awakening~

Out With The Old in With The New!

I have been thinking abut this blog for a few weeks now, didnt want to go ahead and start making resos I wouldnt be able to keep.

Before I could go ahead and look at all the changes I want to make to my life I had to ask myself  – Who am I??? 

In no particular order: a mother, a sister, a daughter, a lover, a friend, I could go on but enough with the labelling. Who am I really?? Someone who really needs to stop hiding behind other peoples shadows and start to shine for myself.

In order to do this I am going to focus on positive changes in 2012 to make my life better, and decided to break them down into 3 categories.

  1. Health
  2. Marriage & Family
  3. Education


 Non-compliance is my middle name, and after staying roughly the same weight for the last 6 months its time to get this sorted. My weight loss journey is surely not over so feck knows why I’m sitting back.

This year I will be getting back on board with I do so much better when I record everything I eat, drink and all the exercise I indulge in – why did I stop Zumba and Aqua?? :-(. The app on my phone works really well and is great when I am at work or out and about.

I need to start wearing my pedometer again to chart steps and miles walked, that keeps me motivated. Starting the induction again, when I did this for a week in early December it really helped me cut the crap I was eating and helped me shift some weight. The MyAtkins team on Twitter were really helpful.

Really gotta get back to walking more, I do enjoy exercise – all these things have lapsed in the run up to Christmas and I need to get motivated and work with this.

After having my kids my Roux en Y is one of the most life changing things that has  happened to me, its huge! But my behaviour and crap relationship with food particularly sugars continue to be a brick wall for me.

This is what I need to work with this year more than anything. ~ Courage.

Marriage & Family.

And breathe..

For those that dont know me personally I have been with the same guy 26 years, married 16. You may also not know that I have damn miserable for longer than I can remember. I dont love him anymore, we sleep in separate beds and we have not been intimate since 2004.  Last year I went to see a solicitor about getting a divorce – irreconsilable differences being the main reason. My solicitor left it with me to talk to my husband to get him to meet me half way to work out something mutual to help keep the costs down. I chose my moment carefully and was greeted with the same response I have had time and time again.

He aint having any of it’

He wont sell the house, he wont buy me out, he wont provide his financial statement, he says he wont be able to afford to live  HE WONT BE ABLE TO LIVE!! I decided to stop pleading, it has taken me months but I now have saved the money I need to pay the solicitor to deal with this through court. Financially this will cripple me paying all the additional solicitors fees, but I am left with no choice now. Final option.

My  children are my world and this process will not be easy on them but I will do my hardest to protect them through all of this.

At the begining of this blog I told you I have been asking myself the question ‘Who Am I’. To be 100% honest with you – I have absolutely NO IDEA!!

I dont think I will until all this pressure has been lifted ~ Strength.


In April 2011 I returned back to work to begin a job I was shifted into after my previous post was deleted amongst the craziness that is the NHS restructure.

I hate this job. I didnt choose to do it, I was shifted into it. Things have got better, but its not where I really want to be.

In May 2011 I was successful at interview and got a place on a 3 year Pyscotherapy Course. I am really enjoying it, but I am so struggling with the work life balance issues. I work full time, I have 2 kids and I have all the personal home and work issues going on. My Master Plan – a career change in 3 years. But I really need to raise my game if I am going to make this a reality and I am finding it tough going…

I have spoken to my Tutor, he knows the score, and has given me extra time with my late assignments.. I hope this will be enough ~ Self belief and confidence.

So where to start?

Sarting with the health tip from Monday 2nd January!

Will get back on the assignments this week!

This is the one I am dreading, but hanging on until next payday to secure extra funds then will be instructing my solicitor to start proceedings!!

Ultimately I have until this time next year to reflect back and put 2012 as a huge

Mitzi x x


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For what we are about to receive …..


‘ May The Lord Make Us Truely Thankful ‘

Happy New Year Everyone x 🙂

We all becomes kids on that morning dont we, looking at all those beautifully wrapped pressies under the tree and deciding who’s going to open the batting.

Got to lunch time on christmas day and I sat admiring my lovely pressies.  Was bowled over by the perfume my daughter brought and the scales, OMG the scales, these scales not only weight but tell you the calorific value, the proteins and the carbohydrates that are in the food item you are weighing. Well chuffed! My daughter has my back when it comes to my weight loss, always there to go ‘No Mom!’ when I’m hovering over the biscuit tin!! haha grrrrrrrr.. just… one… more… custard..cream.. 😦

It was later on Christmas day when the rabble returned from the huge family gathering with the tribe that I got a few extra goodies.. got some more cool stuff, including 2 box of chocolates 🙂 and then there was this…..

Can somebody tell me what the Fuck I am suppose to do with this?? I swear my MIL is trying to drive me insane. I do not know whether to beat it with a stick or call the RSPCA for it.

This is officially my worse pressie of 2011 – and I get 1 every year but normally from my husbands geeky retired uncle!

Its a monstrosity!

I name it the ‘What the Fuck Hat!’

For what we are about to receive and its matching scarf will be headed down to the nearest charity shop shortly!!


Posted by on 01/01/2012 in Just cause



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