Change of scenary..

Hellooo

Decided a change is as good as a rest.. packing up and moving home in the world of Blogsville

More to follow, once I know what I’m doing

Have a great day

Mitzi x x

Sunday Morning Fun

Its been a while since I blogged and equally been a while since I weighed myself.

For the last few months folks have been complimenting me on how much weight I am continuing to lose… errrrrr nope cause my clothes are getting tighter!!

Saturday I bit the bullit and jumped on the scales.
Yep!!!
Weight Gain City.
I have put on 14lb over a period of 6 months!!!

Fucked Off!!

Sunday morning woke early and joined my partner and son at the park. The weather was absolutely beautiful.

He roller skated, my son scootered and I put on my shades, put my earplugs in, grabbed my water and mentally prepared myself to walk around this park a few times with Radio 1 DJ Sara Cox keeping me company .

I did a few stretches and started off pretty slowly, my joints took a while to limber up but before I knew it I was in a lovely brisk pace and I knew I was pushing myself because I got a sweat on.

What kept me going was my son checking in on me from time to time and the number of other walkers and joggers that passed me by and smiled or said morning as we did our chosen routes.
90 minutes later it was time to stop for a drink. I had a much deserved cuppa tea at the Tea Room, then it was time to head home.

On exiting the park I saw a sign that made me realise that what I did was a great step forward.

A changing point. This time last year I did Zumba twice a week and Aquatone. I stopped everything in September 2011 and not done a thing since… I feel ashamed….
I love the feel good factor from exercise, the release of natural endorphines you just cant beat.

Sunday 27th May
I walked 15,683 steps/6.68 miles

I really need to do this more.. Same time next week

Mitzi x

Female version of the Lords Prayer

Do not read of easily offended.

Posted without prejudice.

FEMALE VERSION OF THE LORDS PRAYER: …………………..

My Vibrator

Which Brings Me Heaven

Rabbit Be Thy Name

You Make Me Cum

You Bring Such Fun

On Earth

Or Is It Heaven?

Give Me This Day My Daily Thrill

And Forgive Me My Screams As I Forgive Those Who Sold Me Dud Batteries!

Lead Me Straight Into Temptation

Deliver Me From Frustration!

For Thine Is The Vibration

The Power And Rotation!

For Ever And Ever

NO MEN

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Mitzi’s Cheesey Favourite!

Mitzi’s Fritata

Wednesday was one of those days when I needed to use up a lot of the fresh gear in the fridge, so I knocked up a Fritata.

Not made one in a while and I have spent this week off work enjoying cooking and consuming more natural sources of protein.

So – what was in the mix?

4 eggs
4 rashers of smoked middle bacon
Cracked black pepper mature  cheddar cheese 100g – grated
5 spring onions
1/2 green pepper
3 mushrooms
4 vine ripe tomatoes
Single cream – 100ml
Clove of garlic – crushed
Salt & Pepper

- The oven was warmed at 180
- The bacon was baked on greaseproof paper
- All the eggs beaten and mixed with the cream (season)
- All the veggies were washed and chopped as desired
- x1 spray of olive oil and I lightly softened the the onions and garlic in the wox, added the mushroom then peppers
- quickly transferred to an oven dish and added the bacon now rindless and chopped
- sprinkled on the grated cheese
- poured on the egg mixture
- delicately placed the tomatoes into the mixture

Slammed it in the oven for about 60 mins until it was firm on the top and golden.

Once cooled I cut it into portions and had one for lunch with a green salad and froze the rest.

Deliciously cheesey lunch that also makes a great breakfast or high protein snack!

Will put my pinny away now, don’t want to over do it ))

Mitzi x x

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Maverick Sabre – Lonely Are The Brave

Tuesday 6th March – It’s been a long wait but the night had finally arrived. Fluffs was up visiting and off we went to see:
- Maverick Sabre
- Ms Dynamite
- Aruba Red

We were not disappointed!

The HMV Institute is a small venue that acoustically matches its size to give you a sound that is pleasing to the ear. It was a SOLD OUT tour but we comfortably got our drinks from the bar and found a suitable place in the crowd to enjoy the gig.

Aruba’s voice had you in a trance and she drew everybody in with her stage presence, then Ms Dynamite really got the party started the house was ROCKING!!

I listen to the album ‘Lonely Are The Brave’ in my car alot and love it. But I’ve always said this, you can’t beat a live performance.
Maverick came out on stage humble but sure of what he was there to do. I felt like we were being welcomed into his home so he could share his music with us.

Track after track I just stood in awe, and sung along with the crowd. We waved from left to right and shone our lights on the air as Maverick sang and drank a cup of tea in between songs LOL ‘classic’

The song of the night for me was ‘Cold Game’, I have always loved it, its a beautiful song with its expressive lyrics it means a lot to me. But they were all there, ‘Let Me Go’, ‘Memories’, lastest single ‘No one’, ‘Running Away’, ‘I Need’, Maverick spoiled us all as the band cleared the stage and he picked up his acoustic guitar and sung the bonus trax off the album ’Dont Ever Feel too much’ and more.

If you dont know who I am talking about – please go and check him out!

Maverick Sabre is a gem, his English/Irish vocals are unique and deeply powerful  – http://www.mavericksabre.com/

Happy St Patricks Day everybody

Mitzi x x

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The initial consultation – Divorce

So nervous I arrived 15 minutes early. My solicitor had not come into the office yet for the day so I was showed to a small empty office to wait. I felt physically sick with anxiety.
I waited for what felt like a decade until 10.30 arrived.

She was younger than I remembered, but remained pleasant, very clear and direct. She discussed my case with me, we talked about how things have been over the last year, discussed my options and suggested plan then she printed some paperwork for me to read in the meantime.

She advised that I wait for her letters to summarize our discussions. But basically the wheels are in motion to get my divorce.

‘Unreasonable behaviour’

I kinda felt strange when I left. I felt like I had betrayed him… When you marry you marry for life. But when the man you were so inlove with for years and years suddenly becomes the man you cant bare to be in the same room with. Some things gotta give. 
I have left it long enough as it is!

Mitzi x

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Happy in My Own Skin?????

If a group of us sat and took time to look at this picture, and I mean really looked at this picture, we would all see different things…

So go on…

Give it a try right now…

Tell me what you see?

I am sure if you look long enough some of you may think it tells a story, some may find it triggers a distant memory .. and for some of you its just a picture right? What ever you see, its personal to you, its your vision, how you see it, no one elses.

So, each day following weight loss surgery is much of a muchness. I see the same people Monday-Friday more or less which does not present a problem. However, I find I am more nervous of meeting the ones I dont see that often. All sorts go through my head before, during and after we meet. What are they going to think? What are they going to say? What are they thinking now? Do they think I’ve changed?

This week I met up with a friend I have not seen for about 6 months. It was lovely to catch up but also a little nerve racking – FriendsWithBenefits* and boy did I need those benefits.

We had a lovely evening, went for a walk, enjoyed a meal and live music and headed back to the hotel quite late. Gulp! Thats when panic set in. I wanted to have a bath and go to bed and in order for me to do that I actually needed to get undressed…

I even made the point of buying myself a pair of new full length PJ’s to wear complete with hoodie. I did not want him to see me. The lbs are melting away but where the blubber has gone the skin remains, just hanging, you know, chilling out around my belly, arms, inner thighs, buttocks, chin – just waiting for my Lottery Numbers to come up and for me to go running off to the nearest ‘fully trained, reputable, registered and ever so competent, experienced plastic surgeon’.                    I wont even go there with the tits… I can now fold them like a Tortilla wrap and stuff them into my bra!!!

In Setember 2010 I fit the skin I was in, actually, let me rephrase that – I outsretched it just a little bit LOL ..

But now….

Anyway, things were going well, I had a lovely soak in the bath, got myself all cosey in bed trying to look all sultry and seductive drinking a cuppa tea.

Things started to warm up when he said those words  ‘get on top’

I could of died…

I refused!

Bless him, he didnt insist, he never would and I never raised it with him afterwards. We normally talk about everything… but I just pushed this under the carpet.

Because my weight loss surgery was ‘open’ my scar starts from my breast bone and ends at my belly button. Over the last 16 months it has become more and more keloid in its appearance. My abdomen has more stretch mark  tram lines than a map of not just England, but the entire UK!

As I type, all the emotions come back. The brick walls I seem to be continually putting up are getting higher and higher. When I was heavier I was aware I was too big, and hated who was looking back at me in the mirror. Here I am at 16 months post op and I think I may actually be worse now than I was before… I know this is work in progress, and I am not saying I am not happy about the weight I have lost. Just wished that when I stand infront of the mirror in all my glory, I felt happier about what I saw; and maybe then, I wouldnt worry about what others see.

Happy in my own skin???

Think you know the answer to that one

Mitzi x

Word of Warning!!

 

Love

Mitzi XXX

Divorce… its starting!

The email I have been waiting for came this week!

‘Please ring my office and book a date and time to meet to discuss your divorce proceeding’s’

I have finally saved enough money to get the ball moving.

Kinda scarey….

Appointment 6th March!

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In a bad place…

It’s been a while since I have blogged myself, but have been trying my best to keep up with what others have written.
Not been feeling it really…
Not for a long while….

Not been feeling myself at all. Work. Family life. Personal issues and the ongoing matrimonial breakdown continues.

Since the new year, this wonderful year, I have felt nothing but restraint and control.

So..

I’m just gona ramble now.. cause that’s what I do best.

Old habits die hard..

Withdraw.

Seek comfort in food – and not the healthy kind…

Once it starts.. I struggle to stop it.

I have in a month put on 7lb in weight, I have stopped tracking on myfitnesspal, my vitamintrain is Fucked, I am all spotty and the condition of my hair is piss poor.

Every week I plan, but never stick to it.

I lasted half a day on the 5 Day Pouch Test!!

I’m in a bad place…

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Reflecting On The Birth of My Son

Written 7th May 2011

Just me and my nutty son at home today, his sisters off at Alton Towers for the day with the school, 400 pupils – Teachers Nightmare I suspect. Just got in from getting his birthday cake as its his birthday tomorrow. Presents all wrapped and in hiding I have been remembering this weekend 8 years ago being fingered, prodded and poked all for the sake of getting the expected 11lb-der out.

My planned water birth was thrown out the window as the consultant warned me of the pending complication of shoulder dystocia. The Prostin Gels didnt work even after the extra dose, not a twinge was felt. He wasnt ready to come out thank you very much!!

That was until the oncall consultant appeared with the threat of casearian section if nothing happened in the next 4 hours, and said he wanted to examine me. I took one look at his hands and declined. My midwife did the honours, and struggled to break my waters, I was barely 1 cm dilated. She started the Syntocinon infusion and within no time at all the contractions started, and never let up. My friend Entonox stayed with me all the time from that very moment, how I loved you my woozey headed friend. But this wasnt right, I wasnt getting a break, the bastards just kept coming and coming. Hubbi went off for a fag and a cuppa, the Midwife went off to do her notes and suddenly I had the urge to push, and was pushing and had no control over it, but with my legs crossed due to the fear of the pending 11lb-der.. I couldnt reach the buzzer due to the insulin infusion in one hand and fluids in the other and monitor strapping me to the bed to monitor my baby elephant.

Ok, I am panicking now.. I am having this baby on my own when suddenly the door opens and my Midwife walks back in – ‘Mitzi, are you pushing???’

I couldnt get my words out, just nodded my head.

She asked if she could have a look, but I could not uncross my legs, all I remember was her shouting ‘OPEN YOUR LEGS MITZI I THINK YOUR BABIES COMING’ as she rushed to get a glove on, the emergency buzzer goes off, there’s other Midwives in as back up, delivery packs are flying open, my legs opened and with one gloved hand she supported his head, then body as he shot out she caught him just as his dad walked back into the room!!

From crotch to chest, there he was in skin-to-skin, I took one look and fell in love, nobody can prepare you for that moment when you first hold them in your arms. Resting on my breasts looking at me, eyes wide open with a wtf look on his face, not dissimilar to the look I get when I say get up its time to get ready for school haha. He cried for like a second, and just looked at me like hey I know you .

The hardest 3 hours work av ever done, I escaped the caesarian section but split my difference good and proper instead, never been the same since in that department, but ya cant have it all can ya – I am blessed with a lovingly adorable son who was not the 11lb-der they expected but 8lb 14, I could of spent 3 more weeks at home with my feet up waiting for him to come when HE was ready lol.

It was lovely t see the same Midwives that I had met 5 years before when I had my daughter, and I am to this day greatful for their help and support.

 

The gift of life is a truely magical thing, the luck of being blessed with babies when many women struggle to concieve I never take for granted. There are moments when betwen the two of them they make me want to run for the hills when they have more attitude than I do, but…  I would be lost without them